Discovery

Discovery

In a recent article in the “Government Cover-ups” newsletter, writer Sidney Smokemore wrote an expose’ on new details regarding the U.F.O. crash cover-up in Roswell, New Mexico on June or July of 1947.

Smokemore wrote that a secret meeting had taken place between scientists and Army officials regarding some kind of “black box” found among the wreckage of the alien spacecraft. The “black box” contained a recording of what scientists had assumed was some kind of distress call presumed to have been placed before the ship crashed. Years of work by scientists led to the discovery of two voices that were isolated from other noises that were from the spacecraft. After decades of attempting to decipher the message, a consortium of 5 Cray supercomputers was able to translate the call. Smokemore was fortunate to obtain a transcript of the conversation between the two aliens after several meetings and an oath of anonymity. Here is the translation of the recorded exchange:

Voice 1: Galactic assistance, how may I help you?

Voice 2: Hello, I’ve lost my way and I need directions.

Voice 1: please hold — Am I talking to owner of the craft, a “Dungar”?

Voice 2: I borrowed the craft. My name is Volder, Dungar’s mate.

Voice 1: Please hold. Sorry, no one named Volder is one the list for permission to operate that particular ship.

Voice 2: I know, we haven’t been together very long.

Voice 1: I have a Gonard listed as mate to Dungar.

Voice 2: Gonard died. I’m Dungar’s mate now.

Voice 1: I see. I’m sorry but we need proof from Dungar. I’ll have to call to verify and to get permission to assist you.

(silence)

Volder: Hello? I need some help here. My antigravity stabilizer is broke and I’m getting pulled towards a planet.

Voice 1: can you tell me what planet it is?

Voice 2: If I knew which planet is was I wouldn’t be calling for directions, would I?

Voice 1: Being rude won’t help anything. I will try to call Dungar again. Please hold.

Voice 2: We don’t have time. I’m getting very close to the atmosphere of this planet and might not be here to help by the time you get back to me. Just dispatch emergency rescue.

Voice 1: Sorry, but I can’t do that until I verify you have permission to operate that ship.

Voice 2: then do it now! Hurry!

(silence)

Voice 1: Sorry sir, but I can’t reach Dungar.

Voice 2: What? You’re kidding me.

Voice 1: We have a secret personal question that Dungar gave of us to use as verification for circumstances like this.

Voice 2: What? Why didn’t you ask the damn question earlier?

Voice 1: Because our policy is to attempt to contact the owner first.

(A crash followed by some sort of siren)

Voice 2: Great. Just perfect. Some creature flew into the air intake and the engine is gone. So while I’m trying to get you to do your job and help me, and now I am racing towards the surface like a fireball…

Voice 1: Don’t worry. If you crash we will be able to use the ship’s emergency beacon to find your body.

Voice 2: Emergency Beacon? This ship has an emergency beacon? Why didn’t you use it to tell me where I am?

Voice 1: Policy, sir. We only track the beacon after we have gotten permission from the owner.

Voice 2: Well, while I race to my death like a burning meteor, let me take this time to thank you and the Galactic Assistance for the bang up job.

Voice 1: Thank you sir! Do you need any further assistance?

Voice 2: Yes, take your head and shove it in your —

(Conversation ends).

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